Ahmed

A mother passing by her daughter's bedroom was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up. Then she saw an envelope propped up prominently on the center of the bed. It was addressed, "Mom." With the worst premonition, she opened the envelope and read the letter with trembling hands:

Dear Mom: It is with great regret and sorrow that I am writing you. I had to elope with my new boyfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with Dad and you. I have been finding real passion with Ahmed and he is so nice-even with all his piercings, tattoos, beard, and his motorcycle clothes. However, it is not only the passion Mom, I am pregnant and Ahmed said that we would be very happy. He already owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. He wants to have many more children with me and that is now one of my dreams too. Ahmed taught me that marijuana does not really hurt anyone and we'll be growing it for us and trading it with his friends for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Ahmed can get better; he sure deserves it!! Do not worry Mom, I am 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I am sure we will be back to visit so you can get to know your grand children.

Your daughter, Judith
------------------------------------------------------


PS: Mom, none of the above is true. I am over at the neighbor's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than my report card that is in my desk center drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home.

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Doctrines !!!

I finished exams 2 days ago
and wanted to write something to Revenge of What happened to me During the Last Month
So I wrote this Note
as I am studying in this college for 2 years and Half So I Could Get an approximately Idea about The professors head in making our Exams

1.The Zero Doctrine:
The Basic Concept that The Student don't Get more than Zero Mark

2. The Ego Doctrine:
The Doctrine that The Prof. Try To Prove that he Understand more than you and he Can make questions Non Can Solve it Neither Your family
(Sometimes Neither the Professor Him self)

3. The Educational Doctrine:
The Doctrine that the Prof. Try To ask you in Everything He Forget to Mention it or Explain it during the Lectures and the Class Then he make it Exam Questions to Make the Student learn it (But it's too late)

4. The hesitate Doctrine:
it happen When the Prof. Make Exams That Make You Feel that this Exam's question is Actually for
another Subject's Questions and it's here By wrong No More

5. The Sportive Doctrine:
it makes the Students Run By the max Speed To solve Most of the Available Questions (TREN TREN
.. Exam is over) and you Even didn't Reach the Half of the Question

6. The Amazed Doctrine:
it makes the Student amazed about the Prof. and How Much he is Knowledgeable Prof. as he knows all this Information that We Don't Know about

7. The Revelation Doctrine:
The Prof Explain the Subject or the Basics of the subject and You think This subject is wow I am Gonna get High Mark in the Exam and in the Exam "ops" where's the thing That the Prof. Was Explain in the Lecture ((You will Find out that you were Sleeping in a honey Plate then Waked up in a bad Nightmare))


The 8th, 9th and 10th Doctrine has Been Removed as there are some Professors have Accounts on Facebook
and I am Still in this college For a time So i Wanted To stay there in Peace


11. The Evaluate Doctrine:
well it's Measure the Student understanding According to what they Study for the Whole year and how Much they Concentrate in the Lectures But unfortunately it's Imaginary Doctrine and if it's Exist somewhere it's Not Available (or forbidden) in the Boarders of our College)

المدخن شمعه تحترق من اجل المجتمع

انا مدخن

باختيارى

بكامل حريتى

مش حاقولك بقى اصدقاء السوء والكلام الفاضى اللى الناس بتقولها دى

انا صحيت الصبح فى يوم و قررت ابقى مدخن

رحت كشك سجاير و اشتريت علبه سجاير وولاعه و شربت العلبه دى كلها فى نفس اليوم و من ساعتها بقيت مدخن

اكبر عدو ليا هو غير المدخنين مش كلهم الحقيقه الجهله من غير المدخنين الجهله اللى لسه مايعرفوش انى من حقى ادخن.

(انا لما بدخن باحرق فلوس (فلوسى

و صحتى اللى هى ثروه المجتمع اللى انا عايش فيه مظبوط

طيب فلوسى و انا اللى باكسبها بشغلى ومن حقى احرق جزء منها فى متعه انا بحبها حقى و ثروه المجتمع اللى هى صحتى بدفع فى مقابل حرقها

ده يعنى على اعتبار ان المجتمع صعبا ن عليه صحتى اوى او فارقه معاه

بس المهم انى انا بادفع فى مقابل كل علبه سجاير انا باحرقها خمس اضعاف تمنها يعنى انا باشرب سجاير مارلبورو تمنها 7.5 جنيه يعنى تمن السجاير + 500% ضرايب اولا شركه الشرقيه للدخان اللى بتصنع السجاير بتاخد من فيليب موريس صاحب العلامه التجاريه 41 جنيه فى الاف سجاره يعنى السيجاره بتتكلف كام ماتتعبش نفسك السيجاره بتتكلف 4 صاغ و العلبه بحالها تتكلف 80 قرش سجاير و قول بباقى الجنيه تغليف يعنى العلبه بتتكلف على فيليب موريس جنيه و بيكسب 150% يبقى 2.5 جنيه و الدوله بتحصل الخمسه جنيه الباقيه ضرايب يبقى المجتمع بيلهف منى 5 جنيه يوميا يبقى فى الشهر المجتمع بيحصل منى 150 جنيه بيعمل ايه بيهم المجتمع ده؟؟؟؟

اقولك

بيدفعها لحضرتك لحضرتك عشان

تتعلم ببلاش

و علشان تتعالج ببلاش

و تركب مواصلات مدعمه

و تاكل عيش مدعم

و تركب عربيه

و تحط بنزين مدعم

و بتدفع منها مرتب للموظفين بتوعها 150 جنيه هى بالظبط مرتب موظف ما فى الدوله اول تعين ليه شوفت بقى

شوفت المجتمع واخد حقه منى تالت و متلت بس انا زعلان من المجتمع شويه وواخد على خطرى لان المجتمع بيصرف شويه من الفلوس اللى انا بادفعهالوا على شويه لوح سخيفه كاتبلى عليها ممنوع التدخين و بيعلق العلامت دى فى الاماكن العامه اللى انا باردوا بساهم فيها بفلوسى اللى باحرقها المجتمع بيطردنى من المناطق العامه و المواصلات العامه وبيجبرنى ان اان ادخن فى الشارع

ده حتى مول سان استيفانو منعوا فيه السجاير

قال ايه يقولك من حقك ان تدخن فمن حقى ان استنشق هواء نقى

بجد عباره تحرق الدم تمام

مدمن المخدرات صرف مبلغ محترم على متعه هو بيحبها و كمان جزء كبير من صحته اللى هى ثروه المجتمع الفرق بينه و بينى حاجتين

اولا ان مدمن المخدرات مابيدفعش ضرايب لا هو و الا تاجر المخدرات

ثانيا ان المجتمع مش بيعتبرنى مريض زى مابيعتبره مريض المجتمع بيعاملنى على انى كلب جربان لازم يبنعزل حفاظا على صحه الاخرين

الاخرين هه اللى انا و غيرى من المدخنين تقريبا بنصرف عليهم

اما المدمن المجتع بيعامله على انه مريض و بيدخله مسشتفيات عامه ويقوله يا حبيبى يالى بقيت مدمن ده انت مسكين و غلبان تعالى نعالجك بالفلوس اللى دافعها (احمد عبدالسلام (انا يعنى

لما بركب اى طريق صحراوى بدفع كارته ضريبه عشان تحسين الطريق اللى انا ماشى عليه بيس

لكن الضريبه اللى بيدفعها المدخن مافيهاش فيها مليم بيتصرف على برامج اعاده التأهيل و توعيه المجتمع

يا جماعه

المدخن ده مواطن مثالى من حقه انه يدخن و يعملولنا مناطق مخصصه للتدخين بكراسى محترمه

و قاعده مريحه

و مزيكا شغاله

اه مزيكا المدخن ده مابيشحتش من حد المدخن ده قاعد بفلوسه و لو بطل تدخين تأكدوا ان غير المدخنين هما اللى حيبقوا خسرانين

المدخن شمعه تحترق من اجل المجتمع بس يا خساره المجتمع مابيطمرش فيه